sometimes we get to play the fool

Saturday, I test drove a couple of cars at a nearby dealership a friend had recommended.  I made small talk with the salesman while he did his necessary paperwork and such.  It wasn’t until I was driving down the road that I realized why he had given me such a strange look:  I had told him these 2 facts, separately, without realizing how they would come off together:

1.  I did not need a car in Chicago because I lived where I worked.

2.  I worked in a homeless shelter.

Ohhhh golly I had a good belly laugh when I realized what he must be thinking!  But I didn’t try to correct the impression when I got back to the dealership – I just let him think what he may.

Which brings us round to:  being a fool for the cause of Christ.  Nicole Nordemann had a song out a few years ago that said, “I will be a fool for You, all because You ask me to.”  I loved the song instantly and sang it with gusto.  I would GLADLY be a fool in the eyes of the world for my King.  Bring it!

In the time since then, I have had ample opportunity while following Christ to do things that people haven’t understood.  I have looked the fool too many times to count.  Often I haven’t minded a bit; sometimes it’s uncomfortable, though.

Before I left Chicago, I encountered the occasional person who either didn’t understand or didn’t believe what I was saying about my coming back to Rock Island being a total God assignment and not my idea at all.  It didn’t happen much – JPUSA folks are pretty well tuned into how God stories work.  But when it did…when someone questioned my “real” motives…it felt to me like I was being called a liar, and I really struggled not to take it personally.

At this end, there are many more who don’t know the whole story.  They only know that I was here, and then I left, and now I am back.  A couple of times per day, some from this bunch will say something to me like, “Guess Chicago wasn’t all you thought it would be,” or “Guess it didn’t work out for you after all.”

That, too, is a tough one for me.  I want to corner them and tell them the whole big story.  But here’s the thing:  that desire is mostly not an “I want to give God glory” thing…it’s more about saving face.  More about wanting people to understand that my return has nothing to do with any tail-between-my-legs, disillusioned failure.  Wanting them to know my life in Chicago was a gift, and my life right now is a gift, and no part of this was me screwing up.

So I find myself reminding myself that this gig isn’t about making sure people know I didn’t fail and wasn’t a fool.  It’s about following where God leads me, and if that means I’m seen as a fool…even if what they think is about as far off target as possible…well, there’s that wise saying, “What others think of me is none of my business.”

In the end, the people who really matter in my life…they know.  More importantly, in the end, the One who carries me…He’s all that matters.

much love from one fool for Him,

k