a reason for the quiet?

“Everything happens for a reason.” That’s a very popular statement these days, it seems. Those who feel mystical say it with deep sincerity. Those who feel jaded say it ironically. I do think it’s true, but more from the bent of, “God has a reason for the things He allows to happen.” We don’t always understand His reasons; sometimes we just get to trust that He knows best.

So last night I found myself poking around a bit for “the reason.” Here’s the thing: as you know, I have no internet connection. I could take my little netbook and find a hot spot somewhere…except it’s still drying in a bag of rice after I dropped milk on it. So while I can write offline, most of the things I most enjoy doing on my computer are unavailable to me at home. Furthermore, I did not manage to squeeze Lulu onto the truck when I moved, so she’s patiently waiting for me in Chicago until I can get a car and a paycheck so I can pick her up. Just now 3 to 4 weeks without a bike ride is feeling very long!

So last night I had a free night, no commitments anywhere, beautiful weather, and I couldn’t do any of the usual things I would choose to do with that. My reaction to that was to get more focused on the “lonely” part of this change than I really wanted to be. Living at JPUSA means you really don’t ever have to be alone…walk out of your room and down the hall a bit, and there is always someone to hang out with. You are surrounded with the sound of children playing and people talking. While I sometimes liked to just go in my room and shut the world out for awhile, I also really loved being so immersed in people.

Life is quieter here. The halls are not filled with toys and shrieks and giggles or really people at all (people in apartments are less likely to come out of them than people in dorm rooms are, I think). And of course I haven’t been home long enough to yet get plugged into the kinds of studies and activities and such that I so enjoyed in Chicago. All of this left me asking God what His purposes were in allowing me to get in a spot with neither my bike nor my internet – my 2 favorite pastimes – in a time when I don’t yet have the gas or the cash to jump in my borrowed truck and go visiting people.

I didn’t get any big revelations. So I wait, and I trust that His reasons are higher and better than mine, and I push into gratitude for all the many, many blessings I have in the meanwhile.

I’ll understand it when the time is right.