from reluctant obedience to AHA

Posted: May 19, 2017 in Uncategorized

Today is day 19 of my month away from Facebook, Netflix, and sugar.  I’ve had easy 100% compliance on the Netflix ban.  I’ve accidentally ended up on Facebook a number of times, when not paying enough attention while Googling something, but when I’ve landed there, I’ve left quickly without peeking around to see what I’m missing, so I’m counting that as full compliance.  Sugar – I’ve done okay.  I haven’t DELIBERATELY eaten any added sugar, but there have been a couple of occasions when I’ve realized after eating that  – d’oh! that had sugar in it!  I’ve noticed each time that my body quickly responds with an almost immediate demand for more food, more food, more sugar, more food.  The switch in my brain has a hair trigger on it, apparently.

Though I spent a lot of time objecting in advance to this fast, and still more time complaining about it in the first days of it, I’m finally done complaining about it.  Those who know me well might be able to guess why I’m done complaining:  I finally got a glimpse of what God is up to with this little experiment.  It finally makes some kind of sense to me.

I have reached the zone of gratitude.

Because I am off of Facebook and Netflix, I was tuned in enough to catch a message in my email that I would’ve skipped (I KNOW I would’ve skipped, as I’ve been skipping all mail from this sender for several years now).  I opened and read, and it took me trotting right down an unexpected path.  I followed the path, and find it leading to an open door into a space that makes my heart beat a little faster.  I have a project before me now that I’m not ready to blog about today, but it is SO exciting.  If I’m going to push into this project, I’m almost certainly going to have to either continue the fast well beyond May, or at least re-approach those “screen distractions” in a severely limited fashion, going forward.

I didn’t expect that.  I wouldn’t have asked for that or wanted that.  But what I’m pressing toward is alluring enough that at this point I don’t mind.

And that, my friends, is how God so often works with me.  I can’t say how God works for everyone else, but for ME, when I obey the subtle promptings He gives me (even – perhaps ESPECIALLY – when I do so under great duress and protest), then He brings me to a reordering that I haven’t expected and wouldn’t have wanted, but am delighted to have discovered.

It’s exciting stuff.  Makes me glad I followed the prompting on this fast, even while it made me want to cuss and stomp my feet.

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