little faith, Great Big God

Posted: May 20, 2016 in Uncategorized

Once upon a time, I was a long-term single lady asking God to give me my very own husband who would fit a seemingly impossible list of faith-related criteria.  I’d been watching for such a creature for a long time, and it seemed pretty apparent that no such man actually existed, maybe at all, but for sure none in a still-single status, much less one that might be looking for me.  Nonetheless, I was resolved to stay single unless and until a “man after God’s own heart” might appear, even if that meant single ’til death.

This past week, God has had fun showing me how seriously He took me on that proposition.  Our journey toward home ownership has taken an interesting turn, which I won’t fully spell out here today.  Suffice it to say:  when we first began discussing buying, G dreamed aloud about something, and I shot him down on it at every turn.  No way, no how, ain’t happening, end of story.  The facts don’t add up, the numbers don’t work, people don’t operate that way, impossible.  It’s a cute dream, but let’s be realists.

He asked me to have faith about it, and I opted not to.  There are things that are just so apparent that there’s no need to consider them, I thought.  Still, he asked God for that dream, without getting surly at me for my refusal to dream along with him.

Yesterday, against all odds and to my great astonishment, the door opened for the possible granting of his dream.  It messed me up so much I couldn’t think straight for hours.

To his credit, he never once said, “I told you so.”

Today we’ll press forward into testing the water, but it sure looks at this point like he’s gonna get exactly what he asked for.  I am humbled at this view of my lack of faith, and ready (I think!) to repent of my Insistence on Facts.

When I had asked God for a man who would “lead” me spiritually, it felt so ludicrous as to be almost a joke.  I’m practically un-leadable, and egalitarian enough to require a pretty special man in that role.  And the world is not exactly filled with men my age who are chasing God with their whole hearts so completely that they’d even be positioned to lead.

I laughed for joy yesterday morning as the apparent granting of G’s dream began to unfold, noting aloud to him:  I might be the “business manager” of this relationship, but when it comes to walking out faith, I’m still kind of a kindergartener, and he’s more or less a college professor.

So you see, he’s not the only one getting his ridiculously huge prayer answered.

Isn’t God fun?

  1. Kathy W says:

    How fun! God is so good!
    This reminds me of a scene in Corrie Ten Boom’s The Hiding Place. Corrie’s sister thanked God for everything. EVERY SINGLE THING. But when she thanked God for the fleas in their prison barracks, Corrie hit the roof. No way, no way, was she thanking God for fleas.
    It wasn’t til later she learned that the horrible fleas are why the guards left their barracks alone. They were free to pray, to talk, to worship and sing. They plotted how to get vitamins,etc. This would have been impossible in the other barracks.
    Then she thanked God. For fleas.
    So…her sister took the little things, the details, as Gods plan too.
    (So it wasn’t an “ask”, but it was an incredible “faith”. It stands out in my mind as great faith. Her sister had absolute confidence God had her back, even in the fleas.)
    Your husband asked for what he wanted. God gave him that desire in the first place. He gives us the desires of our heart, but He gave us those hearts, too. So he asked. For the impossible. Because God has his back, and God gave him that desire in the first place.
    It’s all good.
    We have to back each other up in prayer. It’s all possible. Even the impossible ones.

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