Listening. I’ve realized that I’m heavily shifted into listening mode lately. I’ve been at a few social outings lately, and every time I find myself almost completely unable to generate sentences. I am watching and listening, praying and noticing, but words seem like too much and my mouth stays shut. When I do talk, it invariably feels like I’ve said too much and the wrong thing.
I ran into an old friend at the event I attended last night who asked if I am writing less often lately. Oh…I guess I am. Many mornings I get here and the words are nebulous, shifty. I have countless unfinished drafts saved, most of which I’ll probably never even look at again. It seems that’s the season I’m in – less creation of words and ideas and more ingestion of them.
I’m longing for a recharge day – one glorious day on my own to catch up on the things that are piling up. That’s what my introvert self needs more than almost anything right now. A quiet day of reordering. Will more words come after that? I can’t pretend to know. Life is rhythms and seasons and certainly I am approaching a major shift, which always tends to push me inward.
I am focusing on listening for the Lord’s voice, not just my own thoughts, which historically have been known to drive me into depression or other types of crises when I only focus on them.
Wonder what work He’s doing in me just now.