on laughing at oneself

Posted: February 12, 2016 in Uncategorized

One of the great things about being just-about-50 is my ability to see myself and laugh.  I took myself WAY too seriously when I was younger.  Over the last few days I developed an upper respiratory thing and wound up at the urgent care center yesterday right after work – I’ve learned to just go right away, since my body tends to default at this age to sinus infections.  Happily, I caught it before “infection” stage, and happily it was also not strep.  Still, due to the rapidity with which symptoms were advancing (it had been “kind of” there for 2 days, and then in the space of about 4 hours everything just kind of crashed) and the fever I hadn’t even known I had, the doc went ahead and wrote me a prescription for antibiotics.

By the time I left the urgent care center, I felt like the very last of my energy was leaving me.  Sitting in Walgreens waiting for the prescription, it was all I could do not to just lay down on the floor.  So.  TIRED.

That’s when the thought of a chocolate chip cookie took hold of me.

I was thinking how good it was going to be to get home and eat a warm bowl of soup on the couch all covered up with a blanket, and the feel-sorry-for-myself team inside piped up.  “We deserve a warm chocolate chip cookie at a time like this!”  I considered this and agreed.  Wasn’t chocolate the LEAST the world owed me if I had to feel this bad?

I started to try to figure out where to get one, and then the grownup in me woke back up and just started to laugh at this ridiculous line of thought.  A chocolate chip cookie?  Seriously?  THAT’s what you need in the midst of a fever and fatigue and sore throat and way too much congestion?  A chocolate chip cookie?!

So I laughed, and I told G, and I made a joke on Facebook, and I worked on letting go of the idea, though of course it was quite persistent.  Visions of warm, gooey cookies danced in my head, but I just went on home and ate my soup.

It’s good to be at this stage.  I could easily have worn myself out in search of a cookie, and let’s face it – anything I was gonna buy at 6:30 at night was NOT going to meet the standard of what my imagination was parading before me anyway.  It was an all-lose situation, if I had followed it.  Much more fun to just let the thoughts have their little party and just point and laugh at them and do smart things instead.

I’m a funny little woman, and I’m glad to have grown up enough to enjoy noticing it.  How ’bout you?

  1. billsmockins@frontiernet.net says:

    I just read this but thought of your recent blog about taking thoughts captive!  You did it on this one!!! YAY!!!!

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