relationship and intention

Posted: January 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

As I hone in on the RELATIONSHIP element of my resolutions/areas of focus for 2016, I realize more and more how a tension works itself against me, and how often I’ve just unthinkingly let that happen.  Here’s the deal:  I’m an introvert, or at least more introvert than extrovert.  That means my “batteries get recharged” by quiet time, separated from the noise of life and other people.

How that plays out, when I’m not being intentional, is that at the end of a workday I’m ready to scurry home to my quiet house and hide away.  It plays out as my looking forward to staying home on any Saturday possible, just to stay in my PJs and not poke my head out into the rest of the world.  I’m not gonna lie – I LOVE hiding away.  There aren’t many treats I enjoy more.

But you know what I also love?  People.  I’ve been gifted with a huge collection of them.  And what I’ve discovered by experience is that if I’m not intentional about spending time with my people, it just won’t happen.  That’s how I’ve gone months on end without seeing family members that I enjoy seeing.  It’s how I’ve fallen out of touch with friends who are important in my life.  It’s how I can go literally years between picking up the phone and just calling.  Not lack of love – just lack of intention.

I’ve got a very extroverted friend who will never have this problem.  When she’s at home, she’s itching to be out.  She needs interaction.  That’s what charges HER batteries.  Even just listening to her talk about feeling that way makes me feel tired and overwhelmed.  I can’t imagine living the way she most desires to live.  She doesn’t have to plan or try to spend time with the people she loves.  It just happens because that’s the way she is driven.

As for me, I’ve come to realize that the only way I’m going to stay in touch with people is to do it on purpose.  Thus far in 2016, I’m having fun doing that.  I have a weekly set appointment to reach out.  This includes texting people and also picking up the phone.  It involves setting dates with folks to spend time together.  I find that I’m enjoying every bit of that – and no WAY would I do any of it, if I just coasted along and let life happen as it will.  I’m grateful to have had all last year to learn INTENTION before diving into this year of RELATIONSHIP.

Maybe you can have one without the other – I can’t.

 

 

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