day 41

Posted: August 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

Turned in around 9 again last night, and slept until about 7 this morning.  Hopefully that’s been good headway on reducing my ongoing sleep deficit – now I just need to be intentional about going to bed at a reasonable hour on weeknights.  Which is hard, because I just want to be up with G.

This morning’s shake was extra delish.  It was still the chai flavor – I have only a couple of days’ worth of that left, and my chocolate will be in hand tomorrow – and it had blueberries, (more than the usual amount of) spinach, and a tablespoon or two of cashew butter.  I had run out of almond butter, and cashew butter was cheaper this time in the store (all the non-peanut butters are soooo much more expensive than PB) so I went with that.  I think I also added one extra ice cube – 5, instead of 4. Anyway, the shake was amazing, and it held me really well until lunch, which I didn’t get to eat until 2:30, by the time I got home from church and cooked.  Lunch was this:

IMG_1004About half a cup of that brown rice/quinoa mixture that I put together the other day, and then with it was this concoction:

I cooked up 4 cloves of garlic and some purple onion and green bell pepper with a pastured chicken breast, which I had sliced ahead of time.  Then I added a big bunch of fresh asparagus, chopped, and a big bunch of green onions, chopped.  That cooked for quite some time (nice caramelizing effect with the purple onion) and then not long before finishing, I added some broccoli.  It was a really nice, satisfying meal.

Spent the afternoon picking stuff in the garden, and then canning salsa and processing other garden stuff to have it ready for the week (like washing and de-stemming kale and collards, washing and chopping up swiss chard and mesclun mix, and salad-spinnering all of ’em before storing, washing the cabbage up, etc.)  I do love having a garden.

For supper I made a scaled-down version of last night’s taco salad – no meat, fewer spices in the beans, no chopped onions or bell peppers.  It was still a really nice salad, and I love the contented feeling I have tonight.

Today in church, our pastor talked about “freedom from failure,” which was not so much about avoiding failure, as about not letting failures define YOU as a failure.  In processing what was shared, I definitely have to admit that as I pursue this science diet experiment, while I am absolutely LOVING learning about how my body responds to things and discovering the extent to which sugar has held me in bondage all these years, I am very hesitant to even start to think about this as an attempt to lose weight.  I have definitely reached a place in my life of “been there, done that,” having lost 50 or more pounds soooo many times, each time thinking I was never going to gain it back again and that the changes were permanent.  I definitely feel defined by failure on the weight loss front, and I’m a little surprised that anyone bothers to read my blog about this diet, if they know how my weight has gone up and down and is currently up.  I’m no poster-girl of diet success, that is for sure.

Still, I show up here to report partly because it really does keep me accountable, but mostly because I’ve lived long enough to know that anything I’m going through, someone else is too, and maybe can be encouraged or learn something from what I learn.  I’m given experiences to share them – this is something I believe with all my heart.  So I’ll keep on reporting even while I feel like I don’t have any authority to speak to what works or does not work.

Not letting the failure stick to me means pressing forward – “courageously,” as my pastor said today.  That’s what I’m doing.  Feeling like a failure, but pressing forward anyway, with a hope that one day I’ll turn this around and reach a fitness that I can sustain.

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Comments
  1. Thanks for continuing to share. I read each post and while I can’t do this experiment myself because it would cost way more than I could afford, I do enjoy reading and learning about your journey. As one who has lost close to 100 pounds more than once and gained it back, I understand your struggle there. It is nice to know I’m not alone in that.

  2. Cindy Maynard says:

    I want you to keep on reporting! This lady understands your struggle, as I have “been there, done that” over and over again too! I am enjoying seeing the combos of food you put together and the facts and tips you share. It has been an encouragement to me. And I think it will be a reference place for me, when I get off this minimal protein and veggie list I am currently eating from. I am anxious to try some of your meal combinations.

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