if i fall, i fall into His hands

Posted: February 2, 2014 in Uncategorized

If I fall, I fall into His hands.

This was one of the very last things I heard in church today.  It wasn’t even part of the sermon – it was contained within the closing prayer…”If we fall, we fall into Your hands.”  I could hardly keep from whipping my phone out right in the middle of the prayer to capture that quote.  That’s some actual transformational theology right there, isn’t it?

It took me speeding first down memory lane to my bout with Melanoma, and the way God did NOT tell me, “You’re not going to die,” nor, “This is not going to hurt,” but instead just said, “Trust me.”  And I could trust Him…and I did trust Him…even absent any assurance that I was going to survive malignant cancer. 

It bounced me fast-forward to last week, when I was amidst my struggle, and the way God did NOT tell me, “This is not the beginning of mental illness,” or “This is going to get better soon,” but instead just said, “I am with you.”  The thought that God wouldn’t make me go through that wasn’t part of my getting through.  After all, plenty of people go through that, and He doesn’t love me more than He loves them.  His comfort was available to me, not in “He will spare me pain,” but instead in, “He is enough.” 

It rolled me backward to a time of ministry when I was giving everything I had to give, and at the same time getting a whole lot of it drastically wrong.  He didn’t forcibly remove my bad judgment from me.  He didn’t intervene to make sure that I experienced no pain or loss.  He didn’t protect me from very public shame for some of the stuff that went down.  He didn’t magically rescue others around me from the pain of my choices.  Still…He worked in the midst of it, and He never let go of me.  He held me, and grew me, and used every bit of the mess as only He can. 

If I fall, I fall into His hands.  For this reason, I don’t need to be afraid of what is waiting around the corner.  I don’t need to live in terror of failure.  I don’t need to focus all of my effort on the avoidance of pain or consequences.  If I get it right, maybe really cool stuff – KINGDOM stuff – will come to pass.  But in the end, if I fall, I fall into His hands. 

In the end, that is absolutely enough. 

 

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