a different perspective makes some things so clear

Posted: January 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

“If we treated our relationship with our spouse the way we treat our relationship with God, marriages wouldn’t last long,” our pastor said this past Sunday.  He went on to give some examples. and they were good ones.  My imagination has been afire ever since. 

Scenario:  Husband is sore…really in a lot of pain.  He complains.  Wife positions her self to administer a good old-fashioned massage.  He walks out of the room and doesn’t return.  The next day he tells his buddy how his wife just isn’t there for him.

Scenario:  Wife is trying to rekindle romantic life with husband.  Walks around the house singing about how great husbands are.  Will not let husband get within kissing range, at all.  Ever.

Scenario:  Husband is trying to decide whether to take a new job in a faraway city.  Talks about this in depth with a friend on the phone in front of wife.  Turns away, unnoticing, when wife tries to offer her thoughts.  He sleeps on it.  Makes a decision.  Mourns that he and the wife suffer from lack of communications and general connectedness.

Scenario:  Husband wants to make his wife’s special recipe.  She leaves the neatly typed instructions out on the counter.  He ignores the instructions.  Instead, he thinks hard about how the dish tasted the last time he has it.  He uses his imagination and recreates it to the best of his ability.  When it doesn’t taste at all like her special recipe, he is disappointed and complains to wife.  “Did you follow the instructions I gave you?” she asks gently. 

He is irritated.  “I’m not really into reading.  Why do you have to be so controlling?”

Scenario:  Wife asks husband what he wants for his birthday gift.  “Just spend time with me,” he smiles. 

“So you’d like me to get a better haircut?” 

He smiles patiently and repeats himself.  “Just spend time with me.”

“So, you want me to buy us matching shirts?” 

He chuckles.  “No.  Just spend time with me.” 

She spends every spare moment for the next three weeks studying hairstyles, internet surfing for a high-end stylist, and shopping Amazon for matching his-and-hers shirts.  She travels to a distant city, where the best haircut can be had, returning late at night on his birthday.  He hasn’t seen her awake in a month. 

She rushes in the door, exhausted.  She has a trendy new haircut and a new shirt.  She drops a wrapped box in his lap.  He opens it to find a shirt that matches hers.  He sighs, disappointed, as she tucks herself into bed before he’s pulled the last bit of wrapping off the shirt.  She is asleep before her head hits the pillow.

The next morning, she vents her frustration at him for his underwhelming response to her gifts.  “Do you KNOW how much time, effort, and money I invested to get you my new haircut and our matching shirts??  What MORE do you want from me?!”

My scenarios are ludicrous, aren’t they?  No one would ever treat a spouse that way…would they?

But really…think. 

Ever complain about your pain, and wonder why God hasn’t healed it…when you haven’t even asked or entered His presence at all?

Ever jammed on the Jesus songs, but refused to spend time in Scripture and prayer, and then wondered why He’s not near?

Ever struggled to make a decision and talked about it to everyone EXCEPT Him…and then wondered why you get no direction from Him?

Ever lavished Him with gifts He didn’t ask for (and that *happened* to benefit you) while finding yourself too busy to spend time WITH Him?

I have.  I can only write the stories because they are mine.  The behaviors seemed to make sense at the time.  Seen in the light of spouse-to-spouse, they are ludicrous. 

My pastor is right.  If we treated marriage the way we treat our relationship with God, marriages wouldn’t last long at all.


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