the interrupted sleeper

Posted: December 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

It is always the little things that tip me off, telling me that maybe I’m not managing things as well as I am telling myself I am. 

In the last two or three weeks, I’ve lost count of the times this specific thing has happened:  I am at work.  I take a restroom break.  As I am walking down the hall back to my office afterward, I hear something jingle at my side and discover:  it is my belt buckle.  Why is it at my side?  Well, because somehow in the restroom I have magically forgotten that I am wearing one and that it needs to be refastened! 

Happily, each time I’ve noticed, no one has been around, so I’ve been able to just quickly fix the problem.  Now…who KNOWS who has seen me sashaying down the hall that way and is now wondering to themselves whether I might perhaps have a drinking problem or something.  But if this is the case, they’re kindly not mentioning it to me, which lets me resume with the delusion that no one has noticed.  This makes me grateful.

The schedule is the thing, I think, that has my mind/body connection kind of frazzled right now.  G has been working overtime for weeks and weeks.  Overtime is not a “stay late” proposition with his employer – it is a “come in early” deal.  Which means a 4 AM start.  Which means we get up at 2:15 to have time for breakfast and devotional and prayer time before I drive him at 3:30. 

I have felt like I have it easy…sure, I get up for about 2 hours at 2 AM daily, but then I do get to come back home at 4 and sleep for 2 more hours before I have to get up and get ready for my own job.  And on Saturdays, I get to come home and sleep until I wake up without the help of any alarm, unlike G, who generally has another 10 hour day in store. 

I am a person who does whatever is necessary.  I come from people who do whatever is necessary.  We are people who *decide* to be fine, even if something is challenging us.  We are people who know we can do whatever we put our minds to doing.  I’d try to take credit for it, but really it’s been bred into me by my parents.  We do whatever is necessary, and we decide to be fine. 

Generally that works – and then there are the times that little evidences tell me I’m not as fine as I am telling myself I am.  Things like the loss of ability to remember to refasten my belt in the bathroom – repeatedly, for days on end.  These are the ways that help me know I am compromised and for sure not running at 100% capacity.  Apparently the sleep schedule is having an effect on my mental clarity, even with the 8 PM bedtime to which we’ve stuck pretty faithfully.

The good news is:  the end is in sight, where the 2:15 AM alarm is concerned.  G has to work just this coming Monday through Friday – with Christmas off, so only 4 days – and then he leaves that employer to come work for a much better one:  mine.  I couldn’t be more relieved.  He echoes that sentiment.

I see the same phenomenon in him.  Glitches in logical speaking.  Sentences bordering on incoherent after a certain time of night.  We are both ready for the change.  We are both grateful for the change.  We’ve both been willing to do whatever is necessary.  We’ve both decided to choose to be fine, to the fullest extent that we are able.  We are both grateful beyond measure for the grace and mercy of a new situation, come 2014.  A new schedule, both for working and for sleeping.  God is so very good.

Meanwhile, maybe I’ll just opt not to wear a belt to work, this last week of his overtime schedule.  Might save my dignity!

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Comments
  1. Congrats on the new schedule! Yes, God is so Good! Re: the belt – your transparency has dignified us all who can relate. And I hope you don’t mind, it gave me a bit of a chuckle 🙂 Thanks.

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