a gift unwrapped after a long, long wait

Posted: December 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

My husband G has some sort of super-nifty healing, restoring power in his touch.  Keep it “rated G” while you read this, because that is how I am writing it, okay?  When he holds my hand, when he rubs my back, even when he just rests his hand on me, there is this amazing supernatural-feeling thing that happens.  It is like LIFE, flowing freely.  It relaxes and calms me, energizes me, soothes almost any pain at all.  Four months into married life, I continue to be surprised and intrigued at how consistently true this is. 

This morning early, I was snuggled up to him and experiencing that again, and as usual, my mind was filled with a thousand thoughts and a running prayer.  I was thinking about the fact that he was 46 years old before we got married – that this is his first/only marriage.  That while I’m not the first relationship he’s had by far, there were big long gaps, years and years long.  I was thinking that it seemed kind of tragic to me, that he should have this incredible healing power in his hands, and no outlet for it all this time.  Thoughts like that hurt my heart, you know?  Such a long time.  Such a wonderful gift – and the only ones who got to enjoy it for the last – I don’t know – decade? More? – was his pet rabbit and a collection of neighborhood dogs.  This was tugging at my heart as I turned it over silently in my mind. 

And then, and interruption – clearly not from me.  “This gift is not for EVERYBODY.  This gift is for YOU.”  Silent to the human ear, but crystal clear inside of me. 

I was wrecked, and I do mean RIGHT AWAY.  Tears came crashing in as I pondered that in awe.  A gift left wrapped, held for me, at considerable expense to G I might add, for more than 40 years? 

That many tears will provoke immediate questions; he asked and I told him, though I could barely speak the words.  When I am undone, speech mostly leaves me, you know? 

He heard me though, through the gasps and sniffles, and he got it, and he was only glad.  Not for a moment did he grumble about the aforementioned expense to him.  We are both very much in agreement that even with the nearly five decades fit took, it was more than worth the wait, more than worth the pain and the wondering and the crying out to God and the thinking maybe there was no one for us at all.

I put this out there not as a big TMI (we all know that I am good at the TMI stuff) but as a signpost of hope.  If you too are waiting decade upon decade and it seems increasingly unlikely that there is any Mr. Right or Ms. Right out there – take heart.  You don’t know where God might be storing a gift wonderful beyond words, wrapped up, holding it year upon year.  It might feel like too much, too long, too painful right now (and doubly so with the holiday season in full swing) – but reach for the peace He is offering you in the here and now.  Your story is not over until He takes you home.  Until then, unexpected gifts may well be waiting for you, in the very places you’d say they could never be. 

Enjoy Him in the here and now, and leave Him room to work. 

Just a suggestion.

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