cherishing other lovers

Posted: October 22, 2013 in Uncategorized

This was my Sunday post.

Languishing in loneliness, we gaze at the stars and pray shopping lists of what we want and believe we need.  He seems to be far away, uninterested.  We don’t suppose He is listening much, though He lingers near, knowing our every thought – even the number of hairs on our heads.  Desperate for answers, we recite the litany of Not Good Enough and call it prayer, telling Him all the ways we want more, more, more.  All the while, He is with us, in us, all around us, never even a breath’s space away.  He calls to us, beckons us, reaches for us like a lover, offering all that our hearts will ever need.  Peace – deep, untouchable, irrevocable peace.  Joy unwavering.  Meaning.  Belonging.  Purpose.  Love and love and once again love.  He holds all in His hands, gifts extended toward us.

We cling, though, to other lovers.  We treasure the empty ache within that always demands more.  We cherish our resentments.  We cuddle with depression.  We meditate on need.  We rehearse scenarios that we believe will make us happy, even as He stands quietly, ready to give what would wreck us for what ordinarily passes as happiness.    We issue angry demands to Him, conditions of our surrender, so sure we our that we know what will fill our desperate need.  Fickle though we are, ungrateful and arrogant in our misguided understanding, still and yet somehow He loves us through it.  He is not driven to quit by our dalliances with other, lesser lovers.  He is not wounded by our woundedness.  He does not store up offense at our daily betrayal.

Always He calls.  Always He waits.  Always He beckons.  Always He loves.  When we finally come to meet with Him, He does not greet us with a list of our transgressions, but only folds us into His care – only draws us near.  Only loves.

Why then, do we continue to insist on cherishing other lovers?

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