newlywed report

Posted: October 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

G and I have been married for 48 days as of today – one day shy of 7 weeks. 

We eat dinner a lot of nights with our friends, with whom we live.  I’m sure I must have mentioned here before that meals around that table are wonderful, from the menu to the conversation.  G and I try to make it a policy that when we eat with our friends (who pretty much always prepare the meal), we do cleanup.  it seems like the LEAST we could do, you know?  They are all mellow about it (“we have to feed our family anyway – just join us!”) but I ran a household – and Gary cooked in a humongous community kitchen – for long enough that we both understand we are being saved a lot of headache and work when we get to just show up like little kids at a table prepared for us.  And in truth, we enjoy tag-teaming the after-dinner mess and we are the kind of crazies that get a lot of pleasure out of kicking the kitchen’s butt. 

Last night, though, we did something different, for the first time.  G got wrapped up in a conversation with one of our friends, and after awhile I decided I was just tromping and back through the middle of their conversation and needed to go post my blog anyway, so I excused myself and:  went to our room for a bit of alone time! 

Maybe that sounds like a “no big deal” thing to you, but this is a new development for us.  In 47 days, we have been more or less inseparable when we are not at work.  We get ready for our day together.  We wind down after our day together.  We run together.  We go everywhere together.  We sit and read together.  We take and make phone calls together.  Oh, there are little gaps – like at social gatherings, church, etc. we might split up and talk to others for a bit.  And on our “Aledo night” I leave him with my parents for an hour while I meet with my prayer partner (and then I come back and we eat with my parents before leaving town.)  But the gaps are very small and very infrequent.  We have tended to be pretty joined at the hip, and I have tended to be pretty unapologetic about that – we are newlyweds building our foundation, after all, and we both spent such a long time suspecting we were permanently “gifted with singleness” that we’re each going to be excessively grateful to have another half for a very long time, I suppose.

It felt like a GOOD thing, though, this departure from our usual hand-in-hand, side-by-side, tag-teaming-life approach.  It was good because G’s relationship with our friend was going a step deeper – I like to see that, since he left everything to come here and be with me.  While I tell him almost daily how grateful I am that he did that, I don’t want to be the only thing in his world, you know?  Men should have good, solid men friendships, and this friend is the very sort any wife would want her husband to have.  G is a very social person and the last thing I’d want to do is isolate him from the rest of the world with my good intentions. 

So I sat on the bed, posting my blog and feeling just kind of proud and happy and excited for G and for us.  It felt like a very momentous development, this little business of me walking away for a bit.  Tomorrow, I will go to a baby shower without him.  I’m not sure what his plans are for those few hours.

Maybe it all sounds very silly to you.  I might not be explaining it well.  Maybe I look too closely and get too excited, I don’t know.  But bear in mind:  I’ve never done this thing right before.  So I DO get excited when I notice good signs and positive developments.  I DO take it all very seriously.  I DO bust out in thankful prayer.  I DO ponder it long.  After all, I keep asking God to do all the stuff I can’t do, in me and through me – to help me be the wife G needs, which I just flat cannot do without His help. 

And thus far, He just keeps granting my request. 

Point of story is just the usual:  while I am small, HE IS GOOD. 

Reason to be grateful all the time. 

  1. Carol Trott says:

    Karen, Jon and I are sort of ‘joined at the hip’, and we’re married for almost 25 years. (We’re a blended family, after our first spouses left us). My parents were married for 68 years, before my dad passed away this summer. For my mom, it’s sort of like losing an arm. It is such a blessing to have that life partner, and it feels weird when you have to be apart. (Jon has been in Indiana for a week with Project 12), but yes, those moments are good too, sort of a regrouping time. I’m so glad that our Lord is always with us, always, and I’m thankful for a life companion who loves God!! We are so happy for you and Gary, and how the Lord has blessed you in this way! Love you guys, Carol and Jon

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