I’m not the only hot mess around…

Posted: October 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

It happens time and time again, a familiar scene, a predictable story:  I am sharing news.  An offer I’ve been made, a phone call I’ve received, an answer that is needed.  I open up, starting with details and moving to motivations, questions, dilemmas, challenges.  I confess my shortcomings.  And I wait for feedback.

Spiritual Accountability – I’ve been practicing it for somewhere around a decade.  A regular meeting with someone who is given an inside view on my life, and an unusually high level of permission to speak into it.  I have one friend who has filled this role for the entirety of the decade or so, and others who have stepped in for varying amounts of time, until life swept them back out of it.  I am currently blessed in this:  I have an every-week accountability meeting with that friend, and an every-two-weeks accountability meeting with a small group of coworkers, and a few friends who I can call up  at any time and trust for hard questions and unflinching truth, when I most need it. 

Last night was one of those meetings for me, and today was another.  Both blessed me as always, in the safety to be 100% truthful and real.  Both provided me with important challenges and things to think on.  Both helped me see some things from different angles.  Both were great opportunities to pray for and with one another. 

But what really hit me when pondering it all today was this:  how easy it must be, for those who are NOT in regular accountability, to begin to fall for the lie that “everyone else is doing better than I am.”  I was discussing this with another from the group today and he summed it up well with this gem that goes around:  “Don’t compare your insides to others’ outsides.” 

EXACTLY.  But if you’re not meeting with someone regularly, if you’re not practicing confessing your own junk, if you’re not helping another by hearing theirs, if you’re not praying and pondering and listening together for solutions to the pool of many problems…how do you KNOW what others’ insides are like? 

If we just go to work and church and sporting events or whatever, it’s easy to only see the faces people are putting on, their best behavior, the slick veneer that can be so deceptive.  Sitting in a room and sharing at the level required for accountability strips away that veneer, pushes past the best behavior, sees beyond the well-arranged faces. 

And it removes any notion I might have that other people are doing much better than I am.

We are all broken.  We are all misguided.  We all stumble.  We all fall short  We all have good intentions that translate to unwise actions.  We are all selfish and blind to the level of that selfishness.  We all mess up in our most important relationships.  We all let ourselves and others down.  We are all somewhat clueless as to what the next good thing is that we should be doing.  Not all the time, and not ONLY these things, but as for me, I’ve done this thing now long enough, often enough, with enough different people to assure you:  no one you or I have met gets excluded from the “we are alls” that I have listed here.  NO ONE.

This is one of the beautiful things about accountability:  done right, it saves me from ever having to suffer the delusion that I’m the only messed up person around. It’s not the only reason to do it, or even the main one, but hey…it’s a nice perk, for sure!

  1. laurie says:

    love love love love this!!! and ripping off the quote on the inside outside stuff……ty

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s