an adjusting space

Posted: September 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

Yesterday my husband Gary started his job.  It was hot and dirty and repetitive, and in true Gary fashion, he came home smiling and grateful for the work.  This is one of the things that very first attracted me to him:  that he can joyfully serve, without needing the service to be comfortable or even that elusive word, “rewarding.”  He inspires me.

Along the way, he learned that his 7 AM start time was just an orientation day thing.  His usual start time will be 6 AM.  

Umm.  Okay.  

So we are in reshuffle mode.  We had a system all worked out that made time for us to run together 3 times a week in the morning, time to enjoy breakfast and devotions together, etc.  This challenges the system.  And furthermore, the need for an earlier bedtime also challenges our usual afternoon/evening routine as well. 

The only thing I know to do is to meet these challenges with willingness. 

There is a way that we can get the exercise our body needs.

There is a way that we can avoid letting our mornings turn into a hurry, stealing away important together time.

There is a way that I can continue to keep my promise to write every day this year, and that way does not have to include him sleeping beside me while I type away. 

I don’t see it yet.  I mean, I KNOW it involves more shifting to an earlier rising.  I know that much.  I just don’t yet have the specifics of how early, nor how each piece must fall for the whole puzzle to fit together. 

But IT IS POSSIBLE.  I will wait here in the place of willingness to do whatever it takes.  I will not close doors or build walls by throwing out the word, “can’t.”  I will pray and ponder and wait, and it will fall together.  I will see.  Just because I don’t see YET, doesn’t mean I won’t see at all.

And meanwhile, I am choosing not to be too hard on myself at the bit of sadness that the new routine will certainly mean less “awake” time together on weekdays. We did get a lovely three weeks of wonderful, sweet mornings spent together in no particular hurry.  That was a good gift and a good foundation to start from.  I’m pretty sure it’s okay to be a little sad while processing, as long as I don’t nestle down for a good bunch of wallowing and pissing and moaning, eh? 

I do like this place of peace so much better than the place of worry and discontent.


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