thoughts on heart condition

Posted: September 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

When I am giving because I should, it is easy to give myself permission not to give when I get irritable or tired or otherwise out of sorts.  When I am giving as a gift from my heart, I don’t forget, I don’t resent, I don’t keep track.  I rejoice in the gift of being able to give.

When I am serving from duty, it is easy to compare my service to that of others, as if it’s a giant contest.  It is easy to be offended when those being served are not sufficiently grateful.  When I am serving as a gift from my heart, it doesn’t matter at all if I am working harder than the next guy, or if anybody notices and/or gives me credit.  The service never was about me anyway.

When I am praying out of obligation, it is easy to get bored, and easy to think I am owed something for it.  When I am praying to be near Him, the fire of my first love for Him stays stoked and I long for that place of intimacy with Him.  I understand that prayer is not so much about getting things, and I can let go of my “right” to make demands.

When I am working because I think I have to, or to get by, it is easy to grow weary, to lose the vision, to resist where I am placed.  When I am working in obedience and service to Him, I find ways I can be a blessing, I have eyes to see the ministry within the work, I feel a sense of purpose.  I don’t need to try to run off to something more fun or comfortable.

Sometimes giving because I should is better than not giving at all.  Sometimes I need to just be a jerk for awhile, so that He can finally break my heart and change my mind. 

Serving from duty is usually better than not serving at all, and we can find the passion for it as we go.  But if you’re serving from duty today, I’m praying that the shift will ruin you for anything less, as you start seeing it as a gift.

Is praying from obligation better than not praying at all?  I don’t have the answer to that.  If YOU are only talking to ME from obligation, I’d probably rather not waste your time.  But I can’t speak for God.

Is working because we have to better than not working at all?  Maybe yes.  We are built for service, even if we haven’t yet begun to grasp that.  When we are not serving, part of us is dying away, whether we know it or not. 

Most of the above is just my opinion.  Maybe – probably – I am wrong on at least part of it.

Just thinking aloud. 

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