men appreciation blogs – progress report

Posted: August 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

Tonight I’m doing a little mini-pause in my “men appreciation” series.  This is partly because it is past my bedtime and I am just now rolling in from a lot of hours on the road…and partly because I need to report:  SUCCESS!

Do you remember why I started this series?  I had been discovering in the weeks approaching my wedding that very unkind things were happening in my mind.  I would be rolling along through a perfectly wonderful day, and then some old painful relationship-related memory would suddenly come alive in my mind, unbidden but as fresh as it was all yesterday.  Mostly stuff from the demise of my marriage, but also stuff from other relationships.  At first it happened just once in awhile out of the blue for a little bit.  And then it started whacking me on the way to work most mornings.  And then it was just making noise, noise, noise at all times of the day and night. 

Memories of unkind words said to me and thoughtless or even cruel actions.  Memories of my own failures and misunderstandings.  Memories of the effect on others around us, and of things spoken into my life from many sides about it all.  Bad, bad memories. It all had kind of a light PTSD texture to it.

At first it didn’t occur to me to wonder what was going on.  But as it got more and more frequent, I finally stopped and considered that question.  I ended up deciding that the Great Liar was just stirring up old stuff for me, hoping to promote the message that I believed for a long time:  that I can only ever screw it up and/or get hurt.  Cuz, after all…what better way to hinder me from going forward?

Writing this series was my strategy for turning the tide against all those relentless awful memories that would not stop appearing in my head.  How did I know to do this?  Simple:  mostly, years of writing the grat list (a daily list of things for which I am grateful.)  Also:  my experience with spiritual warfare, which surprisingly often tends to be less about all the woo woo out there stuff and more about:  remember that God is good.  Remember it by SAYING it, aloud, often, persistently.  Remember to recite the stories of His goodness.  Remember to focus on the wonder of His many wonderful traits.

So!  If I was being reminded daily about bad interactions/relationships with men, what better strategy than to intentionally focus on the good ones?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  thanks and praise are not just nice pollyanna do-gooder things.  They are tools of survival and even warfare.  They are a life-changing and even world-changing force. 

Starting to tell the stories of blessings and His goodness is like picking up a baseball bat and pursuing with full energy the nasty dark things that work to wreck us.  Sometimes it feels like that to me, when I am writing “God is good” stories – like I’m swinging a heavy implement and something’s head is getting smashed by it.  It is a mighty satisfying feeling.

Since I’ve been writing these “men appreciation” blogs, those old bad memories have almost completely stopped interrupting my days.  They might try to start and rise up, but then quick as that they are pushed away, out of reach of my well being that they seek to bruise. 

So the “good medicine” of these stories has been doing its work.  I won’t cut the process short.  Tomorrow i will pick back up with the series – there are a few days left of it.  Just wanted to report for tonight:  IT IS WORKING!

What might budge in YOUR life, if you started telling your own “God is good” stories? 

Just asking.  🙂 

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Comments
  1. Pam Spangler says:

    thanks for this-I am kind of bummed today so I needed a reminder of whose in control-not me!

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