just process talk

Posted: July 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

Currently I am not very impressed with this business of keeping my promise to write every day in 2013.  It was pretty cool for a long time.  And even when it got challenging and downright hard, it still felt like I was *doing* something. 

But right now I just feel stuck.  It is almost always hard to get started on writing.  I feel like I spend a lot of time banging my head against the wall of No Ideas. 

When I used to just write whenever i felt inspired, the writing was more fun.  (Admittedly, I sometimes went days or even weeks – sometimes MONTHS – between writing.)  It just poured out of me.  It was almost hard to type fast enough to keep up with the thoughts that were flowing out of my head.   I get that still…sometimes.  But mostly, I stare at the page, write 3 words, cross 2 of them out, go back and cross out stuff I wrote 3 lines ago, insert a word up at the top, where I haven’t been for 5 minutes.  It is awkward, painful.  It very often feels unfinished, when I am done. 

A lot of the things I have written while inspired, still inspire me.  I have a google docs file set up of old stuff I’ve written, and I still sometimes go back and read it and think wow, was that really ME writing those words?  Some of the stuff I have written over the years clearly came with a big dose of Holy Spirit. 

I haven’t written anything in quite some time that I might want to go back and read 5 times in the same day.  I’m forcing it, and I’m tired of the sound of my own voice. 

Nonetheless, I’m gonna keep on doing this.  Gonna keep the promise.  God keeps dropping quotes from well-established and respected writers in my lap.  These quotes all point to the fact that producing regularly is key to moving forward as a writer.  I have Stephen King’s book “On Writing” on my shelf – I think I’ll pull it down and re-read it.  Maybe I need a fresh infusion of writer’s excitement or encouragement or exhortation or whatever. 

Looking to the future – in 2014 I think I might move to more of an “editing” mode.  Like, work on writing every day, but have the discipline to work the same piece of writing over every day for a week or something.   You know, FINISH something in a way that might be suitable for publishing somewhere beside my blog of daily errors.  All of this posting of first drafts is making me homesick for more finely honed writing. 

Should this count as writing?  Who knows?  Bitching about how hard it is to write is certainly easier than coming up with a blog with a point, a lesson, a story, etc. 

For tonight, I’m counting it.  And pulling that Stephen King book down off the shelf, before I get a chance to forget or talk myself into being too busy to read it. 

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Comments
  1. linda says:

    Hey Karen I have loved everything you have written this year…some it has spoken greatly to and I have shared with others. I find it sometimes very hard to write anything myself. Someyimes it feels like their is nothing in my brain. So my dear friend you keep writing and I’ll keep reading!!

  2. Me says:

    If you need confirmation that you are producing worthwhile prose, just listen to your readers. I, for one, thoroughly enjoy your writing. I look forward to every piece you post. Do I learn or feel moved by every one? Sorry, no. But Karen, I would feel a loss if I didn’t see your words. Whatever the Spirit of the Lord moves you to do, write everyday, write occasionally, or write whenever you feel it, be assured that we, your audience, value your offerings.

    Sent from my Motorola Smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

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