find a new place for the kleenex box

Posted: May 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

If you need me to give you a ride somewhere in my car, I am generally always happy to do that.  But you’ll always have to wait a minute or two, before I can do it.  I have to clear off the passenger seat.  My passenger seat works as a sort of “side table” for me,90%of the time.  Since almost no one ever sits there, I store my kleenex box and whatever books on CD I am listening to there.  I pile up things I need to remember to take to work, or take to my parents’ house, or drop off in the mail,or whatever.  If I need to throw something away, it often rides there in the passenger seat until I stop for gas, at which point I try to remember to clear out whatever can be tossed. 

I’ve been thinking about that cluttered passenger seat, this last few days.  I don’t know that I have formally announced it here on the blog, but as of last weekend, I am officially engaged to be married.  The wedding is on August 17, which is 97 days and 16 hours from the writing of this blog, according to my countdown app that I promptly downloaded to my Iphone and which I check kind of relentlessly. 

Just in the last 48 hours or so, it has really started to dawn on me:  my days of going around everywhere by myself are drawing to a close.  I thought of it Friday night, as I came home late from a play   I thought of it today, as I arrived at and later left a family get-together.  I thought of it tonight, as I got out of my car after a meeting at church.  I am so accustomed to traveling much of life in a solitary fashion.  That’s about to change! I would have to speak in my usual, probably annoying and perhaps overblown superlative fashion to accurately quantify how happy that makes me.

I am surprised that it matters so much to me.  The truth is, I have been going around alone more often than not for almost my entire adult life – even when I was married, I almost always came and went, wherever I came and went, either by myself or with kids in tow.  I haven’t ever regularly had another adult who went around with me doing…well…anything (at least as far as I can remember right now).  Most of the time, it hasn’t occurred to me to be discontent or sad about that.  It just is what it is – I am Karen who mostly travels alone. 

There was a wonderful passage of time when my kids (whether biological or children of my heart) were teenagers or young adults and would go around with me, keeping me company for ordinary things like grocery shopping.  I ate that up.  I was always overjoyed when one or more of them willingly came along.  It was so nice, having company. 

That passage came and went.  I returned to mostly doing everything by myself.  It had its lonely moments, but more often than not, I guess I haven’t felt particularly plagued about it.  Which is why I am so surprised at the enormous joy leaping around in me that it is finally (and “finally” is very much the word within me, right now) about to pass – that I’m finally going to have someone – an adult someone, even –  beside me regularly as I navigate life. 

It only took me 47 years to get here. 

Maybe there is hope in that, for someone out there who has been waiting, like I have, for years spanning into decades for such a change. 

Maybe there is a reminder in there, for someone who has had their own someone beside them for a long time, and has been taking that for granted. 

Maybe. 

All I know for sure is:  there is joy in there for ME, and I’d sure be blessed to find there is enough joy to touch someone else’s journey. 

I need to get busy cleaning up that passenger seat.  🙂

 

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Sherri says:

    There is enough joy there to touch someone else’s journey – it touches mine. I also travel mostly alone. Except for a short period of my life when I was engaged, but even then… he was a truck driver so most of the time I still traveled alone except when he was home for a weekend. I also use my passenger seat in much the same way… and my backseat.

    I turned 44 last month and honestly RIGHT NOW I am in no way ready for a relationship and am completely OK with that. However, I have always wanted to be married and the desire is still there.

    This post gives me hope Karen… thank you for that.

  2. Me says:

    body {word-wrap: break-word; background-color:#ffffff;}:)Sent from my Motorola Smartphone on the Now Network from Sprint!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s