on who belongs at the center of the story

Posted: March 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

When I was a little girl, I hid in my books.  I dreaded the games kids love to play – PE class was like a torture chamber to me.  I “lost” my gym shoes as often as possible to get out of lunchtime relay races.  Recess was an unreasonable social imposition.  I didn’t want to run, didn’t want to yell, didn’t want to try and win at any contest.

Much to the chagrin of my teachers (who faithfully reported this crime to my parents), as often as I could get away with it I would stay in the classroom during recess, escaping into books – horse stories, mostly.  The world of words was my refuge from the difficulty of trying to fit in, in a world that didn’t seem to welcome weirdos like me at all. 

My life was immersed in story.  I loved to live there.  When my nose wasn’t firmly stuck in a book, I was writing a story in my head, line by line – a story in which I was the heroine, my life unfolding in carefully constructed sentences and ensconced in mystery and intrigue.  It was, like, totally epic, dude. 

I come to discover more and more, as I grow with age, that being at the center of the story is not a very good place to be.  Some grow selfish from that place.  Some grow arrogant.  Some grow morbidly, intractably depressed.  Some develop toxic insecurity.  When I am at the center of my story, it’s all about ME, ME, ME…and I get pretty full of me, pretty quickly.  God help those who are stuck around me, in that mode.  Can you say boorish?

A better focus is God at the center of the story.  When my attention and focus is centered on seeing what He is doing, following it, celebrating it, sharing it…I am growing.  I am peaceful.  My world is enough, no matter what it does or does not contain.  Circumstances are just that – circumstances – and not my owners.  What a complete opposite of the perspective that stares at what is happening TO ME, how it affects ME, what MY rights are, what I am going to get out of it, what it’s going to cost ME, whether it is fair that I should have to enure it, etc. 

Cheers to not being the heroine of the story.  Cheers to Someone who is worth watching, and who touches and changes me every time I stand back and do just that.  Watch.  Listen.  Learn.  Tell.  Grow. 

He’ll always be a better hero than me. 

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